Struggling with Anxiety and Depression: My Story

*My intention with this post is to tell my very personal story about struggling with anxiety and depression. After, I will provide a few resources to check out about these conditions.*

MY STORY

Like I mentioned in my About page, I have Anxiety Induced Depression.

I’m not sure when it started because I think I’ve had it all of my life. I wasn’t cognizant of it until four years ago though.

As a normal college student, I walked into my 11 am class and sat down in my usual seat. I got there about ten minutes early, but the classroom was already filling up.

I started to feel anxiousness as I looked around at everyone. The air started to thicken, and I could feel my breath shortening. Then fear and panic creeped it’s way into my body. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I stood up out of my seat, grabbed my backpack, and rushed out of the classroom.

I immediately ran for the bathroom on the bottom floor. Luckily no one was in there because class had already begun. I went into one of the stalls because I felt nauseated, but nothing happened.

That’s when the tears came. My chest hurt so badly because I couldn’t breath and then sobs ensued. My first instinct was to call my mom.

I explained what was occurring inside of me. She told me I was having a panic attack and to leave campus right away. I hung up the phone and calmed myself down enough to leave the bathroom. I headed straight for the transit buses and went home.

My mom called me again to check in and assured me I needed to go see a doctor. She revealed she also had the same problems with anxiety. I think I always knew that too, but again I wasn’t really aware of it until that moment.

So I drove myself to the doctor’s office. I won’t go into detail about my visit, but it was a terrible experience. The doctor basically said it was a temporary condition and gave me a few pills to last a week.

I left the doctor’s office, came home, and went to sleep emotionally exhausted. As a result of that visit, I never went back to that doctor again.

After I finished those pills, I was not on medication anymore. I finished the semester and continued on with my life.

Then, I was in my last year of college. I had a few minor panic attacks that year, but nothing major until my final semester.

I was required to intern during my final semester of college, and everything was wonderful in the beginning.

As the semester progressed, I felt a sadness deep within me. I dreaded the thought of leaving my bed every morning; didn’t want to face my future anymore; and felt completely lost and hopeless.

I became self aware and knew it was depression.

After this realization, I forced myself to go to another doctor who was much more professional. She informed me I have anxiety induced depression and prescribed medication for me to take indefinitely.

I also sought counseling. Luckily the university provided free counseling to students. The only catch was I was about to graduate and only able to attend three sessions.

So now fast forward to today, I’m not on any medications and no longer in therapy.

I’m currently looking for natural ways of keeping my anxiety and depression at bay.

RESOURCES

This website is all about anxiety. It goes over the different types of anxiety, symptoms, and any other relevant information on anxiety.

This website is all about anxiety and depression together. It even discusses other disorders such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Bipolar Disorder, and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). There’s also an option to find a therapist or counselor in your area.

This blog has a related post on anxiety called Living with Anxiety: I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means. It’s a really detailed post, and I found it very helpful.

This website/blog talks specifically coping with anxiety and panic (if you couldn’t tell by the name). It goes more into depth about actual panic/anxiety attacks as well as separation anxiety.

Struggling with Anxiety and Depression: My Story

Living with a Meat Eater When You’re a Vegetarian

I live in a house divided. Not in the same context as sports, but rather food.

My boyfriend, Slade, eats meat, but I’m a vegetarian. How do we live in peace? Almost seamlessly.

When I made the immense decision to no longer eat meat, he completely supported me. As long as I didn’t chastise him for continuing to eat meat of course.

Now we shop mostly in the organic section of the grocery store. I occasionally buy meatless food alternatives, and he tries them. He even buys organic food products he normally eats non-organic.

That doesn’t mean it’s not a struggle sometimes. It may or may not surprise you it’s more of an issue from my side than his.

I became a vegetarian to save animals, the environment, and my body in terms of nutrition. Those are the most common reasons people convert, and it is no exception for me.

I researched and found there were other ways humans could live without eating animal meat to survive. I knew in my heart I couldn’t let more animals suffer just to feed my appetite.

A lot of people don’t share this same philosophy, and Slade is one of them.

Slade was born and raised in a family of hunters, so his concept of killing animals is desensitized. He still loves and appreciates certain animals. He uses all of the animal carcass as a way of honoring it’s sacrifice.

But he knows I don’t believe there’s a humane way of hunting animals. It’s all inhumane slaughter in my eyes.

In the end, we agree to disagree on the issue, but we still support each other for our choices. He understands why I chose this path, and I accept he will probably always eat meat.

I value my relationship and the love we share. I don’t believe this disagreement is enough to ever separate us.

There will be times when problems arise as a result of differences in ethics and morals. As long as respect remains, we will solve them together.

 

Living with a Meat Eater When You're a Vegetarian