Why do we need intimacy in our relationships?
Human beings crave closeness in various ways. One of the most common ways is through relationships. Closeness in relationships can be achieved through the creation of intimacy because intimacy means closeness.
Basically, we need intimacy in our relationships because it’s a key part of maintaining them. Sounds like a vicious cycle, doesn’t it?
How do we create intimacy in our relationships?
Most people think intimacy means sex. Sex is very vital in a relationship and helps to create intimacy; however, intimacy is so much more than just sex.
Like most components of relationships, creating intimacy takes time. It doesn’t magically happen over night, especially at the start of a relationship. In the beginning everything is new and awkward.
The best way to start creating intimacy is through communication. You are probably used to being single, but now you have someone else’s thoughts and feelings to consider. Talk to your partner and get to know them. Work on slowly moving away from only regarding yourself towards involving him or her too. Once this fundamental step towards intimacy starts, it’ll keep a natural flow and the awkwardness will ease away.
How do we continue creating intimacy?
Now it’s time to think about how to expand on the foundation you’ve built. Here is a list of ideas on how to continue creating intimacy throughout the relationship.
Share new adventures together
New adventures can be scary. Share them with your partner to ease your worries, and it will bring you closer. Most likely you’ll end up loving it and happy your partner was there to experience it with you.
The feel of someone else’s touch often has a relaxing or euphoric effect. Physical contact through touching, kissing, hugging, and sex definitely spices things up and creates it’s own unique form of intimacy.
Communicate needs and wants
This has to be a constant practice in your relationship. Needs and wants get frequently overlooked and overshadowed by other priorities. Sitting down and having a serious chat about this will generate tons of intimacy through honesty and shared values. If it doesn’t then you might need to reevaluate why you’re with him or her because you might want different things in life and love.
Read to each other
I’m a huge fan of books and reading, so this one really inspires me. It’s one thing to read your own separate books together in bed at the end of the night, but it’s another to actually read the same book together. This might establish mutual interests in the same books as well as more snuggle time. What’s more intimate than that?
Teach your partner something new and vice versa
It could be a new skill or hobby like showing him or her how to shop on a budget or hiking local trails. This also builds patience and trust along with intimacy in your relationship. Just remember not to get too frustrated with your partner if they struggle to learn it. (Yes, I am definitely talking from experience!)
Every happily intimate couple I know loves to travel, so this one always seems to work. Plan a vacation together and see where the world’s adventures take you.
There’s loads of other activities which can strengthen intimacy. If you didn’t enjoy any of the ones I listed, try to come up with your own. Then, let me know by sharing in the comment section below.
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I personally suffer from Anxiety and Depression, so this topic hits home for me. Managing anxiety is a struggle I deal with every single day. Throw a relationship into the mix, and sometimes life gets pretty complicated. I feel it’s imperative to constantly find ways to deal with it, so here are the tips and tricks I’ve learned for managing anxiety while in a relationship.
TIPS AND TRICKS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
- Lean on your significant other for support
- Make sure your partner listens
- Enjoy new hobbies together
- Share cleaning responsibilities
- Motivate each other
- Learn to compromise
- Be with someone who helps calm your anxiety
LEAN ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER FOR SUPPORT
This may seem like an easy task, but in my experience it can be far from it. It’s hard to lean on my current boyfriend, Slade, for support sometimes. I haven’t had many supportive relationships in the past, but that’s no excuse. One crucial aspect of a successful relationship is supporting each other, especially through both good and bad times. Whether you’re having an anxiety attack or just need a push to accomplish every day activities, realize your significant other is always there to support you.
MAKE SURE YOUR PARTNER LISTENS
Communicate to your partner when you need them to listen to you. Slade has ADHD, so listening to me is difficult on a daily basis for him. Even so, he turns off all distractions and focuses his attention on me when I’m in desperate need for him to listen. He doesn’t talk until I’m through speaking and tries not to interrupt me. This is what an effective listener does. When you have anxiety, your mind constantly drums up more things to panic about, so make sure your partner knows when to sit down and listen.
ENJOY NEW HOBBIES TOGETHER
Hobbies are great anxiety relievers. They temporarily get your mind off of your worries and often force you to relax (depending on the hobby). Since I’ve been on my journey to a healthier lifestyle, Slade and I have been trying new healthy hobbies to enjoy together such as working out and cooking healthier food. Another great hobby to do with your significant other is reading. Curl up in bed next to each other at the end of the night before bed and either read your own books or read a book together. Be open to trying new hobbies with your significant other because it can sooth your anxious mind and create more intimacy in your relationship.
SHARE CLEANING RESPONSIBILITIES
If you live with your significant other, this can be a wonderful solution for several different problems. Putting unnecessary amounts of work on yourself leads to more anxiety. Take it from me. Often times, I find myself overwhelmed when it comes to cleaning. I take over cleaning duties so Slade doesn’t have to worry about it when he comes home from a long day at work. It’s so silly because I’m the one with anxiety yet I’m adding more unnecessary stress to myself. Slade hates it when I do this and reassures me he will always help me clean. If you’re doing all of the cleaning at your place, try to share cleaning responsibilities. If you don’t live with your significant other, then see if he or she will help you clean up your place a little bit here and there. You’ll be amazed at how much stress and anxiety it takes off.
MOTIVATE EACH OTHER
Motivate each other through simple and complex issues or tasks. That sounds pretty easy, but it’s also easy to lose motivation when certain problems become further complicated. Some days I refuse to go work out because I want to be lazy, but Slade motivates me to go anyway. This winds up making me feel better and eases some of my stress. Motivation shows signs of care and commitment for one another in the relationship.
LEARN TO COMPROMISE
Learning to compromise is one of the biggest issues in most relationships. One or both partners can be very stubborn and think the other one should give in to them. They don’t stop fighting until eventually one of them does and the one who gave in is left feeling rejected and upset. Occasionally, my anxiety will get the better of me, and I’ll throw tantrums until I get what I want. Recently, I’ve come to accept the art of compromising with Slade because it results in no fighting, both of us getting what we want, and less anxiety. Compromise with your partner and you’ll see better communication, a decrease in fighting, and greater overall happiness with each other.
BE WITH SOMEONE WHO HELPS CALM YOUR ANXIETY
*This is the most important tip.* Don’t waste your time trying to suppress your anxiety because your partner can’t handle it. That will end badly for both of you. You need to be with someone who calms your anxiety, not causes it. Examples include making you laugh when he or she knows you’re feeling uneasy or scared; keeping you focused on breathing during an attack; or even just accepting it. Slade knew about my anxiety and depression from the very beginning. He loves me for me despite these struggles and keeps me calm when I’m anxious. Be with someone who helps, accepts, and loves you for you.
- Let me know what you thought about these tips and whether or not you found them effective by leaving a comment below.
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- Struggling with Anxiety and Depression: My Story
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- Three Healthy Ways to Find YOUR Happiness